I was debating whether or not to make public this little bit of drama I'm having mostly in my own head, but to be honest there's no other effective way to get it off my mind. One of my friends that I've known since high school has grown distant from me. And it's not just from everybody she knows, it's just me. I don't know what she's going through, I haven't had the guts to ask, and it always seems like an inopportune time to say anything whenever I do see her.

I think it's safe to say that our relationship as friends is now moot. It doesn't mean I hate her, it doesn't mean I don't love her anymore, it doesn't mean I simply don't care anymore. It just breaks my heart to know that I've lost my relationship with her, for god knows what reason. I know people come and go, but that's not what I want out of my friendships. I can't help but want them to last, mainly cuz I moved a lot in my childhood and lost my first real friends due to moving. Distance isn't supposed to be a problem, but it still persists simply because we still live in the present. That and we never kept in touch anyway and we were never really all that close. However, as friends she was always very affectionate and helpful, and as a person she still is, but whatever's going on with her has suddenly deprived me of a simple hand-clasp or a hug. Just me.

It's actually been going on like that for a while, and for a time I was actually completely ignored by her. When she started talking to me again nothing hasn't really changed since, tho. So, I'll just acknowledge it here and now, and move on. There are things I plan to do this week 'fore I go back to work on Thursday, and hopefully I'll get to really talk with my boyfriend sometime soon. Thing is, so much is going on in my head right now that I have no idea where to start and I'm dreading the day we do talk. In reality it probably won't be so bad, but seeing as I'm moving soon I want to make sure I have no unfinished business.

--I married Sunstreaker x3